Unfit for Society Recs

Middleman

Monday morning couldn't guarantee by amaresu
Lacey's stuck in a time loop. Luckily, Wendy knows how to help! Oh heart.

✭

Ocean's Eleven

All Or Nothing At All by talkingcute
Linus gets in a jam and calls Rusty. It doesn't go the way he expects. Hee!

✭

Timeless

The Late-Night Time Travelers’ Philosophy Club by rivkat
This is a really great post-s1 story in which Time Team saves each other and, hopefully, the timestream, but which also does a great job with the individual relationships - Lucy and Rufus, Rufus and Wyatt, and of course, Lucy/Wyatt. I enjoyed it a lot.

✭

Cotillion

The Birds and the Bees by Lbilover
Lord Legerwood, unknotting with the ease of long practice the tangled skein of his wife's speech, said, "Do I take it you want me to discuss the niceties of love-making with Freddy?"

"Yes," replied his other half baldly.

He could think of a dozen things he would rather do than hold such a conversation with his son, among them walking barefoot over hot coals or strolling down Bond Street without trousers. But he knew that Emma, scatterbrained as she could be, was right. Discreet inquiries over the years since Freddy's majority had yielded no evidence that he ever kept a mistress or even visited one of those establishments that catered to a gentleman's needs. Freddy was undoubtedly as virginal as his bride-to-be, and perhaps a few pointers wouldn't go amiss to help get the newlyweds off to a good start.

"Very well, Emma," he said, resigned to his fate. "I will have a talk with Freddy." And hilarity ensues. This gets the voices just right. So adorable!

A Night to Remember by Yosituna
Adorable little story about Freddy and Kitty's wedding night that gets the voices just right.

*

The Middleman

Baby, You're Much Too Fast by entwashian
She shoved a handful of bills at Ida. "Chocolate," she hissed again.

Ida exited the car. As she approached the door to the store, Roxy yelled out, "Donuts! They're as close as you can get to eating a human soul!"

Ida ignored the stares of the patrons pumping gas as she entered the convenience store. Roxy kidnaps Ida for help, and MM and Wendy cover for her back at Middleman HQ. Hilarious and really captures the voices and the vibe of the show.

The Devil's Dance by slipshod
Missing scene from The Flying Fish Zombification. The Middleman teaches Wendy the devil's dance. Gets the voices spot on.

Epiphany by singlecrow
Holiday gift-giving between Wendy and her friends. Aw.

*

Ocean's Eleven

Showing Your Hand by shrift
"Hugh Hefner called. He wants his robe back," Danny said.

"You're a liar and a thief. Never make that comparison again." Lovely, bantery first time for Danny and Rusty. <3

*

Sports Night

Once More, With Feeling by Roga
Jeremy keeps chickening out on proposing to Natalie. Adorable!

Punishment by Malana
Natalie's in a mood and Dan doesn't even know why he's being punished. This is adorable.

*

The Heat

Brass in Pocket by fearlessfan
Really lovely, slow-growing Ashburn/Mullins. <3

Or Should I Walk by Again by Giddygeek
"A serial killer's den? You keep grenades in your fridge, Mullins. Grenades!"

Shannon sniffed. "Adds character," she said implacably. "Unlike your fridge full of yogurt and orange juice. God. It's like a fucking magazine spread in there, right out of Boring Women's Weekly or some fucking thing. You know what, you need a grenade. You need a little life in there."

"There isn't supposed to be life in the fridge, Mullins," Sarah said. "The whole point of a fridge to prevent life from growing in your--" Shannon was just looking at her with raised eyebrows. Sarah stopped, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to three. Delightfully sweet and in-character story about Mullins livening up Ashburn's life. <3

*

The Middleman

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas (in the middle of August) by shinealightonme
Reads like the lost Middleman Christmas (in August) episode. <3

The Mirrorverse Doppelganger Visitation by KiaraSayre
Lacey from the Mirrorverse appears and gives both Wendy and the Middleman some things to think about. Sweet and funny and a little heartbreaky.

The Unpaid Overtime Complication by Froggimus_Rex
Wendy and Ida, with an assist from Lacey, save the city when the Middleman is incommunicado. Adorable and wacky, just like the show.

~*~

Northern Exposure

New York Is a State of Mind, but Cicely Is a Way of Life by Snacky
"Seems like the Aurora is playing games with our dreams again, Cicely. I woke up this morning after dreaming about a visit from our old friend, Joel Fleischman. And I'm not the only one — Ed Chigliak and Maurice Minnefield both report that Dr. Joel greeted them in their dreams last night too. Looks like we might be doing some shared dreaming, Cicely! Feel free to call in and let us know if you met up with our former doctor in your sweet dreams.

"Spend some time on the big old internet, and you'll find out all you ever wanted to know about meeting in dreamspace and astral projection, all kinds of stories from all kinds of people, all about the journeys their minds take while their bodies have checked out. True stories? Well, there's nothing quantified, nothing qualified, nothing proven, but here in Cicely, many of us have had our share of strange dreams, counting yours truly.

"So, maybe we all had a visit from Dr. Joel last night. Are we all getting sick? Is our collective subconscious trying to tell us it's time to see a doc? Or were we all trying to tell Dr. Fleischman something, through the combined power of our dreams? It could be any and all of those things. This is KBHR, and you're listening to Chris-in-the-morning, Cicely. Let's get dreamy." Perfect sequel to the show. <333

~*~

Pushing Daisies

For Love or Money by abstractconcept
Little Daisy Darling (salesperson of the month and Olive Snook Look-alike) seemed to be in love with her boss, Huge Hugh McGrew, a very dead ringer for Emerson Cod. But Hugh was in love with his wife, the equally plus-sized Rustie McGrew. When Huge Hugh finds himself with a cord around his neck and three holes in his chest, Miss Daisy is the prime suspect. Pitch perfect casefic that reads just like an episode of the show, puns and quirks and all. <3

In Persica Veritas by strix_alba
Ned and Chuck finally tell Olive the truth. A nice moment we never got to see in canon.

~*~

Crossovers

Discworld/Firefly

Feegles on a Firefly by SpaceAnJL
A blur of blue up the front of Jayne's t-shirt, and there is a noise like someone hitting a steak. Jayne staggers, cross-eyed with the effort of looking at the thing astride his nose. The creature butts him again.

"Crivens, isnae many Bigjobs can tek a second heidful o' Wee Begbie." says a small admiring voice, just before he passes out. Exactly what it says on the tin. Absolutely HILARIOUS.

*

Middleman/The Tick

The Certified Write-Off Wrangling by romantical
Brief, adorably hilarious Middleman/The Tick crossover.

*

Elementary/The Good Wife

with her killer graces and her secret places by crossedwires
Joan opens the front door and leans on the door frame, projecting nonchalance as much as she can. "You don't call, you don't write, you don't reply to any of my messages. I was starting to think you broke up with me and forgot to let me know."

"We're not in a relationship, remember?" In her boots, Kalinda is a good three inches taller than a barefoot Joan, who straightens up as Kalinda reaches for her. "I've been caught up at work. You know how it goes."

Joan stands on her tiptoes, balancing on Kalinda's arm, so they're almost eye-to-eye. "I could've sworn there were phones in Chicago the last time I visited."

"Yeah, well... Surprise?" says Kalinda, with a tiny forgive-me? smile. And Joan is lost, between that smile, those boots and this kiss. Brief, lovely Joan Watson/Kalinda Sharma. Yes, please.

~*~

Crossovers

Angel/The Middleman

A Succubus Walks Into a Bar by st_aurafina
Roxy Wasserman visits Caritas. Perfect little crossover.

*

Sherlock/Fringe

The Case of the Empty Eyes by jaune_chat
When something about a case strikes Sherlock as familiar, he and John are off to Boston to consult with Dr. Walter Bishop. (Spoilers for Fringe through s4; none for s2 of Sherlock.) I enjoyed this a lot, mostly for the Sherlock-Walter interaction.

*

Firefly/Captain America

Time Watches From the Shadow by shadesofbrixton
Steve has the common sense - or good grace - to look a little bashful now, like that'll do a gorram thing for Mal's opinion of him. "I'm looking for someone - I was told you were the man to come to. That this ship did things other people wouldn't."

"She maybe does," Mal monotones, tipping his head at Inara, who rolls her eyes.

Steve sighs, obviously fed up with his treatment of the "lady." Well, good. He deserves as much frustration as Mal's feeling. "A - a friend of mine is trapped in a facility." He's searching Mal's face, those baby blues suddenly real sharp. "I heard your crew had experience - "

Mal's gun is out and tipped up under Steve's chin before he can finish the sentence. "Heard from who."

To the stranger's credit, he doesn't stammer under the press of steel. "Shepherd Book," he says calmly. Eeee! Steve and Bucky 500 years in the future! Bucky trapped by the same people who had River and Steve asks Mal's help to get him back! Mal being frustrated that everything is out of his control. I love this so much!

~*~

Crossovers

Middleman/DCAU

The Cooperative Cetacean Extrication by NocturnalRites
Wendy + the Middleman + BBatB Aquaman = OUTRAGEOUS!!!! This is so AMAZINGLY PERFECT AND HILARIOUS I CAN'T EVEN. ♥♥♥

*

Firefly/Sandman

Concentrated Other by eustaciavye
"They are only objects," she told them. "This River is not the river that can flow and bend."

buT iN tiMe You MaY SEe thE plaN I haVe FOR yOu. unTIl THen YoU MUSt be PATienT. Short, sharp, perfect meeting between River and Delirium during her time at the Academy.

*

The Losers/Jurassic Park

Mission: Dinosaur Adventures by pollyrepeat
"Oh no," said Jensen.

"Jensen, we need to... talk," said Clay, like the words pained him.

"We’ve noticed that you seem..." Aisha began.

"Please stop," said Jensen. "Please, please, stop."

"Your head is up your ass," she finished, matter-of-fact. The kind of matter-of-fact that meant Aisha was about wade into topics that made her deeply uncomfortable, like feelings. Shit. "Tell us why."

"Would you believe me if I said I didn’t know?"

"Sadly," said Clay, "yes." *dies and is dead* This is hilarious and perfect. The Losers v. dinosaurs, and Jensen's complete obliviousness to his own and Cougar's feelings. I laughed out loud many, many times and the story isn't even that long.

*

Alexander the Great/Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Dear Aristotle by CrunchySalad
Hee! Bill and Ted land at Mieza when Hephaistion is there and he is most puzzled by them. Hilarious.


~*~

The Middleman

Rapidly Acquiring the Familiar by justasmattering
Lovely, melancholy, slowly-unfolding Wendy/Middleman in the wake of the Doomsday Armageddon Apocalypse.

the surprising paternal return by corellianjedi
Oh, my heart. Wendy finally learns what happened to her father. This is so amazingly perfect.

~*~

Crossovers

Fringe/Criminal Minds

Immutable You by robotjen
Olivia and Emily, kicking ass together.

*

The Middleman/The Losers

The Coffeehouse Crossover Confrontation by effex
Wendy and Jolene team up to fight a monster. Awesome!

*


The Middleman/Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog

the nefarious laundry buddy crossover by corellianjedi
Really well done crossover in which Wendy does her laundry at the same laundromat as Billy and Penny. These two 'verses go well together.

***

Fringe

Can't Get Next To You by yahtzee63
Peter travels the multiverse to find (our) Olivia. Really compelling read.

~*~

Middleman

The Person of Interest Intersection by peganix
Utterly adorable Wendy/Lacey first time.

~*~

The Simpsons

Very Deliberately Waiting by gloss
Manjula's tone is final, brooks no disagreement, and it makes Marge smile and want to rise into the air. There is such certainty in the woman, more than enough for two, with plenty to spare.

She is touching Marge's hair now, working her fingers into the stiff-sprayed curls. Everything loosens around Manjula: dishes don't finish rinsing, sentences trail off, Marge's hair droops and spills. Lovely Marge/Manjula story that burns slow and hot.

~*~

Bones

spent so long waiting here by hebrew_hernia
that getting over her was an effort doomed from the start, that he changed jobs and crossed continents and oceans and left his goddamn kid behind and it didn't change a damn thing. While they're separated, Booth jerks off thinking about Brennan. Really well done.

~*~

Iron Man

Growing Season by dotfic
Adorably flirty story where Tony keeps bringing Pepper fruit until he gets it right. ♥

~*~

The Losers

gauntlets of +1 warming by katemonkey
They had to admit it — everyone on the team was freaked out when Jensen started knitting.

Not so much that he knew how to knit, because that seemed like the kind of dumbass thing Jensen would pick up, like how he kept 20-sided dice in his pack, or how he could make shadow puppets out of duct tape and spare weapons. And no one really raised so much as an eyebrow over the fact that he picked it up on one of his trips to see his sister — Beth was at that age where she'd learn it at Brownies, or Campfire Girls, or whatever sort of group you send little girls with genetic tendencies towards being freakishly smart and frighteningly hyperactive to.

No, what freaked his team out was when Jensen decided that the best time to knit was right in the middle of a goddamned mission. Ahahahahahaha! ♥

~*~

The Middleman

We all got in tune by gloss
Awesomely delicious, sweet, hot and in character Wendy/Lacey/Noser. After the best Art Crawl ever (\o), they kick out the jams.

~*~

The Middleman

Blame it on the French by monimala
"Uh, I hate to interrupt your hero-sidekick banter, Dub-Dub, but did you and Sexy Bossman miss the part where we're supposed to *have sex*?" Her voice rose at the end of the question, and MM actually winced, like he was a dog hearing a particularly shrill whistle. "I have to have sex with you both or *die*," she emphasized. "Which is very indicative of a grossly patriarchal society, I might add."

Aliens make them do it! With Lacey along for the ride. Funny, hot, and sweet.

~*~

Sports Night

Another Second Time Around by laurificus
"You've probably made lists of them. In a book. An indexed book. An indexed book, in which all even-numbered pages are allocated to you, and odd-numbered ones to me. That, my friend, is the kind of person you are, and you are going to come into my home, and you're going to make schedules for all the cleaning activities, and an ordered system by which we will choose which TV programs we watch, and you'll start alphabetising things. And I will wish for death. And death will not come, Casey. Death will purposefully stay away, simply because it, too, is enjoying my pain and suffering."

Casey needs to crash at Dan's for a few days. Dan's not thrilled, but they work it out in the end. With adorable banter, because that's what they do.

~*~

White Collar

Classic, in Progress by tzikeh
"I… it's a tuxedo. It fits. I like it."

"Go put it on," Neal said. Peter opened his mouth to reply, but before he could make a sound, Neal held up his hand. "Go and get it and put it on and come back down here and show me."

Peter snorted. "So you can mock it like you mock my best suit?"

"Your 'best' suit is a travesty." Again Peter opened his mouth, and again Neal held up his hand. "Peter, there are a very few, very specific things that I do better than almost anybody. This is one of the only ones left that I can still do and remain a free man."

Adorable and bantery. Neal and Elizabeth convince Peter to buy a new tuxedo.

~*~

Middleman

It's Always the Classics by medie
Wendy has a plan. It involves the Middleman and sex pollen. This is adorable.

Rite of Passage by trascendenza
Adorable Wendy/Lacey/Noser snippet: "But the history books will not forget about us," Lacey said, grinning and ruffling her fingers through the bright green feather boa around Wendy's neck. / "On the contrary," Noser said, turning on his side and fitting his thumb into the hollow of Wendy's hip, "if they burn the books our names will still be writ in smoke."

~*~

Middleman

The Job Description Actuality by The Blue Raven
Wendy comes home in bad shape, and Lacey decides she and the Middleman need to talk. Lovely.

Just Words and a Tune by hematitebadger
Ten wonderful little slices of life with the Middleman and Wendy.

Make a Feast Out of Trouble by voleuse
The problem with living in a building filled with other young, photogenic artists was, Wendy knew, that idealistic rebel very easily devolved into pretentious jerkwad. Lovely slice of Wendy/Lacey. Sigh.

~*~

Middleman

Apocalypse Now and Then by monimala
"Ida has picked up several interesting tidbits on the H.E.Y.D.A.R.," he informs. "Apparently the sky commenced falling at roughly 0600 hours, shortly after reports that temperature in a small southeastern Michigan town called Hell had reached critically cold proportions, especially unusual seeing as it's July." / "Wait." She stops with her vest stuck halfway around her head, voice muffled by the slippery black cloth. "Are you saying that Hell literally froze over?" / "Yes, Dubbie, I am." Hee! WW and MM take on the apocalypse.

the global zed head apocalypse by corellianjedi
Fantastic fusion with World War Z. What do Wendy and the Middleman do during the zombie apocalypse? Heartbreaking and hopeful in equal measures.

The Red Velvet Sensei Spectacle by nonky
Lacey feeds Sensei Ping some (vegan) red velvet cake. Hilarity ensues.

This Is Where It Starts by marymac
Wonderful look at how Wendy and Lacey met and became BFF. I especially like the asides about Wendy's mom, and the way Noser's appearances are threaded through the whole thing.

War Stories by hematitebadger
Roxy helps Wendy do some research, and they find some time to chat. I really enjoyed this, and she has Roxy's voice spot on.

~*~

Middleman

The Bellicose Doppelganger Auter-ization by jengrrrl
Absolutely hilarious story in which Lacey is kidnapped and Wendy and the Middleman have to save her. Clever and quippy, just like the show.

It's All About the Cream Filling by monimala
"What's it like when you 'long'?" Somehow, she pictures elevator music and cartoon hearts flying through the air, but she's not about to tell him that. Incredibly sweet and yet not sappy Wendy/Middleman fic.

The Modern Courtship Conundrum by sloanesomething
Ida frowns. "Don't think I was activated yesterday, missy. I see what's happening here. You just keep in mind that you and the Middleman are professional partners – he's Batman and you're Robin, and that's the end of THAT story." // "You've clearly never read a Batman comic," Wendy mutters. Utterly adorable Wendy/Middleman fic.

The Ursine Therianthrope Divination by kaneko
After leaving the Navy, he went back to civilian life and became the kind of man he'd always admired. There was nothing complicated about it. He didn't cuss. He called women 'ma'am' and men 'sir'. Every time he bought milk instead of beer, it was a choice - but it was a simple choice. // And when he was recruited to the Middle organization, the role fitted over his new self like a glove. This story is sheer elegance in its simplicity! I mean, it's absolutely fantastic, with great MM-WW interaction, and a wonderful backstory for this Middleman. Wonderful. Highly recommended.

we're the umbrella (in a rain of fire) by _seven_crows
"So, let me get this straight: an evil government supercomputer derived partly from scraps of technology gathered from failed supervillain plots and partly from salvaged alien technology far beyond our puny human comprehension has gone crazy, created itself a body, developed a random and inexplicable fixation with the samurai bushido code, and vowed to destroy this honorless world and all its insignificant inhabitants. Does that sound about right?" // "Not only does it sound right, Dubbie, but it sounds like some of the best synopsizing I've ever heard," says the Middleman. "Frankly, I'm impressed." Five times Wendy and the Middleman saved the world. Sounds just like the show. Adorable.

~*~